Bill Chappell's Funny Stories


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Laugh, Laugh, Laugh
at
Wild Bill's Nonsense!

Sickness? Disease? Depression?Some doctors have found that even cancer patients can be helped by laughter!
Treat yourself to hours of laughter with Bill Chappell's books and tapes.
They're therapeutic!

To Read F-U-N-N-Y Excerpts from Wild Bill's
120-Page Book,
Click on Book . . .
or Scroll Down.

To Read
Book Review
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This book may be purchased locally at
Tennessee Technological University Center Book Store
Cookeville, Tennessee.

They serve good steaks in Mexico. The most famous steak in all of Mexico is Filet Manana.

The Real Story of Billy The KidBilly was born in New Mexico under the name of William Bonnie. He rode a big Clydesdale horse named Clyde. He is the only gunfighter known to have ridden a Clydesdale. Clyde wasn't fast but he was so big he could crash right through the wall of a house, a barn, or a bar if necessary. Billy hated the name Bonnie because it was a girl's name and the other gunfighters were always teasing him about it. When they saw him riding into town, they would say, "Here comes Bonnie and Clyde." This really made him mad because he hated the real Bonnie and Clyde for having a car that could outrun his horse. He never forgave his mother for naming him Bonnie. He changed his name to Billy The Kid and swore to shoot anybody who called him Bonnie again. During his short life span, he shot 21 men for calling him Bonnie. The only people who could call him Bonnie without getting shot were his mother and his best friend Pat Garrett. Pat called him Bonnie just to aggravate him. One day Billy made the mistake of calling Pat Garrett "Pattie." Pat Garrett shot him dead. They sent his body to Ireland to be buried with his ancestors. His mother and Pat Garrett got together and wrote a famous song in memory of Billy. The song is called "My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean."

Some unpleasant things are gonna' start happening to you as you grow older and you may as well get yourself prepared for them. Your arches will fall; your stomach will sag; your eyelids will droop; and your chin will hang down. You still won't look all that bad until your nosedrops. Better smell the roses while you can 'cause when your nosedrops, it's a booger.

Have you heard about the new TV series that features the activities of retired war heroes?
It's called "The Old Battle Acts."

One Tick to Another: "I've been from one end of a man to the other, but I've never traveled a-broad."

Lice are tiny bugs that love to crawl on people and other animals. They travel in groups and the leaders are called head lice, not to be confused with head lights on your car. Common lice are satisfied to live on your arm or leg, but head lice like to get ahead. If you get head lice on your head, the only way to get rid of them is to shampoo with Lice All or use Lice All Spray.

Judge to Defendant: "How do you plead?" Defendant: "I usually just get down on my knees and beg."

Read our hilarious advice column!
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This Book Makes a Wonderful Gift. Give Someone the Gift of Laughter. If You'd Like to Keep Laughing, Read On

For years, people from all over the world have been writing to Telly D. Truth at The Dry Fork Chronicle for answers to their questions and solutions to their problems. Telly D. Truth is considered by many to be the world's smartest and wisest man. Telly D. Truth claims to have the answer to any question and the solution for any problem. Many of the more interesting letters have appeared in the newspaper and are still appearing in a section called "ASK TELLY." We have permission to publish items from this column on our website, and will share one or more with our visitors each week.

Ask Telly Advice Column

By Telly D. Truth

Dear Telly,

Do you think chicken should be cooked in grease?
Curious in Chickawa

Dear Curious:
Yes, I do. I think chicken should be cooked in every country. Incidentally, you misspelled “Greece.”
Sincerely,
Telly D. Truth
Dear Telly,
Do you know how to make an electric switch?
Single Mom in Saskatchewan
Dear Single:

Yes, I do, but I’m not telling you. You will have to be content with using a plain old-fashioned switch off a peach tree on your children, like my mama used on me. You could do great bodily harm with an electric switch.

Sincerely,

Telly D. Truth

To read more of "Ask Telly's" advice column Click Here


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All Songs and Stories Copyrighted 1998 by La Luz Publishing